Blue Monday and the Temporary Return of the Fourth Child

It’s taken a little more time than expected but here is the next part of my battle.

So Blue Monday – the day of my test to see if the leak in my neck was healed sufficiently to allow me to eat again, it involved drinking a cup of blue water and looking if it came out of the drains placed in my neck. So right side all good, however it was leaking out of the left, devastated no food or drink for two more weeks and having to be fed through my nose, probably the most annoying part of my experience to date.

My recent history has been blighted with various battles with depression, and as a result I tend to react badly to things I cannot control – waiting for results for biopsy, waiting for radiotherapy to start and now having to wait for eating and drinking. My automatic response is to behave like ‘the fourth child’ and thus this came to pass on this occasion sulking like an absolute good-un. I had built my hopes up so much, and was brought down in literally 5 minutes, I was then informed I would have wait a further two before they could test me again, just before our holiday to Cornwall.

The following two hours I felt very low, the wonderful Dr. N however took time to come and see me and lifted my spirits, I was then able to reset my goals and planned how I was going to get there. I also had a visit from the psychologist Gareth who had heard the news – all through the 4 weeks he had visited and checked my mindset, the whole Head and Neck team are sensational and are the reason I was able to stay so positive. A perfect indication of this was after there shift’s had finished I had visits from both Dr.N and also Dr.G.

The following morning on ward rounds it was explained that the leak was taking longer to heal owing to my close relationship with radiotherapy, the nature of the treatment had weakened the areas in my neck hence the leak. My team of consultants are and remain fantastic, they never spoke at me and always explained what was and would happen in the future and my next swallow test was booked. It was at this stage I met Mr.D the nurses favourite for the first time and hatched my cunning plan, I got a picture of the Dr of LinkedIn and got my wife to print and frame the picture and bring in to the ward. That afternoon I presented the picture which was liked greatly, what I didn’t expect was that it would be placed on public display causing much hilarity, the issue was that the next morning Mr.D was on ward rounds and saw the picture and took it very well.

The above quote is my favourite and what I am trying to always follow, the following day after my mini episode my doctors announced that as Ann is a nurse I was going to be allowed home the only issue being my feed tube. However nothing ever can go that smoothly, first I had to have the remaining staples removed along with 10 stitches around my stoma – simple, unfortunately no, the staples were easily removed by Abby but the stitches needed a doctor. The stitches had been in for nearly 4 weeks and were a little submerged in the skin, so a degree of furtling was required which was rather painful, it was like loosing a toenail and there was more than 10 stitches 😭.

All done and ready for home the next day, to say I didn’t sleep would be an understatement, I was loosing my safety net, could we cope with the tube changes, the feeds and the general things that needed doing. The day arrived and all my supplies were prepared – 4 storage boxes, and three cases of feed, Ann arrived looking as apprehensive as me but we were ready and I said my goodbyes. I was sad in a way to leave – these lovely people had looked after me for 4 weeks, I was worried about what faced us but this was the next progression, the next step on the road to health.

Before I finish I promised a couple of people a shout out so here goes:

The Andrews Sisters – Abby; Becky and Meg – Thank you is not sufficient ❤️❤️

The Nursing Crew – Ann, Beth, Charlie, Lisma, Marina, Rosily and Saji – Nothing to say but thank you ❤️❤️

A Gaggle of HCA’s – Beth, Donna, Michaela, Sharon, Simone, and Vilma – Kept me smiling throughout ❤️❤️

Finally a big thank you to Tanya and please if you can return the photo remember share and share alike😂😂❤️❤️

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